Brodie’s Space
Brodie being in the 3rd grade is a challenge. Let me rephrase, Brodie is a challenge, but one I am always ready for. I was ready for her to be born. I was ready for us to butt heads. I was ready for the whining, crying and fit throwing, I was ready for the talking back, the glaring looks and the rolling the eyes. I was ready for her to begin kindergarten and the issues, albeit they were going to be little, at school. Then first grade came around and I was ready for anything that would come my way including the overwhelming task of homework. Then second grade hit and we made the decision to move. I cried for a week before and after the move as I feared I was making the total and wrong decision to bring my child out of comfort zone and introduce her to a new place with new people. New faces that she had never seen before that she would have to meet, speak up and say hello to.
Brodie takes after her day in various forms. Logically planning each of her moves and whom she will approach. She loves the spotlight but fears rejection in a matter of speaking. If she puts herself out there, she does it in full force with all of her heart. When I watched her walk into her new place of education last year, slowly making the steps to the playground I felt my heart ache and my eyes burn. I wanted to make her friends for her and give her all the encouragement in the world that she is beautiful, likable and will do well. Instead I turned quickly and fled to my car giving her the independence she needs to grow and be her own self. I cried before I headed to my house worried that she was hiding her fears inside her. But Brodie will shock me everyday and she did just fine and is still doing fine. And now that she is in the third grade and growing older with each passing second, new challenges are facing us and some I am not prepared to deal with.
You see the other day Brodie got lunch detention and written up by her teacher. Her act of crime: she threw her bottle of water at another student and called him and idiot. This particular student she has talked about before to me, telling me of his “aggravating and annoying” ways. Brent and I are trying to teach our children not to fight, though everything inside me tells them to, but instead go through steps.
1. Ignore them. They always want a reaction.
2. Tell your teacher.
3. If she doesn’t listen tell another teacher. Just keep telling someone.
3. Kill them with kindness.
4. Ask them to stop.
5. If none of this works I have informed my kids to fight back, but do not resort to the fighting first.
Brodie said she has done of all of this. I know she is no angel and I guarantee you she has instigated some aggravation and annoyed behaviors or done so herself. But I told her when I found out about her getting trouble at school, “Brodie, there is no reason, whatsoever for you to name call. Her very well be an idiot in your mind but calling him so you lose the fight and he wins. Then of course you get in trouble.” But Mom she will say. And that day for some reason I didn’t interrupt her to tell her there is no excuse, I wanted to hear out this excuse. Apparently said little boy likes to touch her. Her hair. Poking at her. Shoving her playfully. Doing what third grade children do, especially boys and especially if they like you. It struck me though when she said this; even if this is what they do at her age – it is Brodie’s space and Brodie obviously does not want it invaded – so she acted out.
I was serious when I told her and I meant it for all my children. I told all three of them in the car. You have a right to your space and nobody is allowed in it if you do not want them to be. Nobody has the right to touch you ANYWHERE if you do not want them to. EVER. NEVER. EVER. NEVER. Brodie stared at me with wide eyes and my voice grew and I knew she could feel my frustration. I told her to tell the boy the next day that she does not want to be touched and he can’t touch her because it’s ILLEGAL. Highly. And I am not the one to throw around lame accusations of suing or confrontation but my child deserves her space. All my children deserve their space. And with this particular situation I will condone fighting and fighting as hard as you can.
Friday Brodie came home after having to stay after school and told me he did it again. She told me that he was messing with her hair and that she told him “You are inappropriately touching me and harassing me. This is my space and you need to stay out of it”. He thought it to be funny and kept on. She told the teacher who apparently blew her off.
NO. NO DAMN WAY.
So Monday I am going into the school to talk to somebody about this. This I won’t drop. This won’t just be swept under the rug.
Brodie is allowed her space and SHE WILL HAVE IT.
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26 Comments
Go Brittany!!
Um…shouldn’t that be Aunt Brittany to you? I’m so telling Grandma on you or hoping she sees this. You are sooooo busted.
I didn’t want ppl knowing i spy on my family!! LMAO:)
Shhhhhhh! I miss yall to much and reading this always makes me laugh:) I feel connected:) Muah love you AUNT Brittany!
Love you and miss you too! And I know you spy on me….I have a invisible counter thingy that tells me when your internet address visits and I know very few people in your neck of the woods so it was easy for me to hunt you down. Just because I’m not there doesn’t mean I don’t know what you are doing!!!!! Behave and straighten yourself up you act a fool far too often. I’m your Aunt Brittany, don’t think I don’t care what goes on with you. Keep reading and hopefully will see you soon. I love you Cheri’.
Yes mam and im being very good promise im getting my life in order the best way possible
I really miss you all so much. I can’t wait to see you all!! Love you aunty.
You only love me because our conversation is public.
I’m sorry you’re going through this – I can just hear the frustration in your post. I hope you’re able to get a resolution quickly. And that the boy in question keeps his hands to himself.
Creative Junkie´s last blog ..Ollipops
Oh hell no! The teacher needs to listen to her!
This is so very important for her and the boy to learn NOW that NO MEANS NO!
I was harassed like this on the bus by two boys when I was in 4th grade. Thankfully my mom and the principle listened to me and the boys stopped. They even said sorry.
You go MAMA, be her advocate!!
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I busted a boy’s nose in the 5th grade because he kept pulling my hair all the time. He wouldn’t stop when I told him to, numerous times and I told my teacher and the gym teacher etc.. Well, one day I just had it, and I turned around when he did it to me again, and wham. I slugged him really hard with my fist hitting his nose.
I broke his nose. Off to the principal’s office. They called my parents and I got spats (a spanking) from the principal after he got parenteral permission. I got detention after school for a week.
The boy’s dad came to take him to the Doctor’s. Thankfully his Dad said that it was his son’s own fault for doing this, and that he knew better because they had this problem a year before with him. Seems he was always doing this to his younger sister too. His Dad said what finally worked then was his sister laying into him good. He said he never listened to the parents when they told him to stop and why he couldn’t be doing this. His Dad said, I bet he’ll never do this again. The boy said he’d never do this to anyone ever again.
They didn’t punish the boy for what he’d been doing to me, I guess they thought he’d gotten enough from me.
I do feel bad I broke his nose, but at the time it was like a whole bunch of penned up frustration just came busting out.
I think it’s good that you are going to go and speak to the school so something like I did, doesn’t end up happening. I know School’s will expel you for this kind of reaction now and I wouldn’t want to see something like that happening to your daughter. School’s have zero tolerance on violence, but seems they get to pick what they feel that is. What level of violence is it that they finally open their eyes and actually see. Being harassed day after day is a form of violence.
Poking and pushing and hair pulling is just as bad in my book as what I finally after a very long time (about three months I’d say) ended up doing in frustration to that boy. I think your daughter is entitled to her space.
You go you for punching that boy in his face lol! Sometimes unfortunately that is what it takes!
You know him laughing and thinks it is good fun….but blushing like crazy! Will try to call you later today or tomorrow!
I think your doing the right thing to step in. It’s so important that we listen to our kids and get to the bottom of these types of situations! Bravo mama!
You give it to those in charge!
The teacher can make sure they are seated apart, for 1 thing… talk to the principal too, and tell them you will make a “foraml” complaint if they keep allowing this boy to bully ( or just amuse himself) and your daughter gets the punishment. How about making him sit detention, and how about a class on personal space. Seesm like it may be a good time for that class to have a reminder in it. Esp if the boy does not get any puinshemnt for his actions, he may grow up to be the boy that causes a lot of problems for a lot of girls. Yes, 3rd grade & all… with our society being so PC now aday… then we should be able to get some PC for ourselves & our kids.
Stand up Brodie, and stand up right in class if she has to & yell at him to stop it & say NO!
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Hell yah. Our kids might not be perfect little angels, but they deserve to have their personal space.
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Be prepared for the “Kids being kids” and a possible eye roll from school admin. Our 3rd grader has been bullied since 1st grade, and that’s what we’ve been told. When he gets to the point where he fights back, I make them NOT punish HIM, and talk to the other kids, and then I tell the principal, “Didn’t I tell you THIS would happen?” They’ve sheepishly admitted yes, rescinded my son’s punishment since he wasn’t the instigator, but still continue to let it happen. You’re probably going to have to be *THAT* mom. That’s what it takes these days. Our education system is in serious decay.
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I couldn’t agree more. It is bad, bad decay. Sad really.
I’m so glad you’re stepping in. Whether he’s just flirting or just a big pain in the butt, she shouldn’t have to resort to beating the crap out of the kid for him to get the point.
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WAY TO GO! I 100% respect your attitude here. I think you are absolutely right that Brodie deserves her space and that you are handling it appropriately. You are also, teaching her a valuable life lesson.
Just think, in ten years (these days maybe sooner) when a boy is ahem…trying to do what teenage boys do-she will have the self confidence, self respect, and self love to tell him where to go!
Awesome!
Wow, she learned from the first experience, and the teacher totally UNVALIDATED (is that a word) the lesson. Not to mention the personal space issue.
Kim @ What’s That Smell?´s last blog ..Vindale Research
Totally agree with you! I don’t want my kids to fight ever, unless they have to
Always want them to be able to stick up for themselves!
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I hope that you get some results from speaking with the teacher! I can’t believe that they just flat out ignored her. I’d be outraged too.
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They think that it’s just “kids being kids” but if it was the normally nagging and teasing I would be understandable – but how are we supposed to teach our kids to respect themselves if they allow this type of stuff to happen?!
Go Brit! I am the SAME way when it comes to my kids. I don’t want them in fight, but I DO want them to stand up for themselves and what they believe in. Gabriel (3rd grade too) got into his first fight because a kid pushed down Isabella then pushed gabriel’s head and called him stupid. So he stood up said “don’t you ever touch me or my sister again!” Then punched the little asshole in the nose. He came home all upset, but kept repeating, “Mom, you told me to stand up for myself and my sister.” and I did. He did not get in trouble. We talked about it and tried to see if there was any other way that he could have handled the situation and even I couldn’t see one. In this case I feel like he did what he had to.
Now why did I just write this novel. I agree with you and Brodie. This other kid has no right touching her and she has stated over and over and the other kid just laughs. Seems to me he needs a punch in the nose.
Kas
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Amen mama – he does need a punch in his nose big time!
Good for you girl! I can’t wait to hear what happens.
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Go mama Go!! I completely agree with you here!
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