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What’s The Small Talk?

Today’s topic is “6 reasons why you would be doomed if you were stranded on a deserted island all by yourself.” You can answer this with a list of 6 words, 6 phrases, 6 sentences, 6 paragraphs, 6 photos, 6 videos, etc . . .

1. Well on this deserted island I am sure there are bugs. Big ones. That will try to eat me. All I can imagine is me attempting to swim off said island, which I will now call, “The Island With Women Eating Bugs”, and I won’t swim far. (Read #2 For Why) So either #2 will happen or I will end up giving up, swimming back to the Island Of Hell and being eaten alive. Or dying from my fear of bugs.

2. Sharks and other human eating sea creatures. That’s why I am doomed. And why I won’t swim far.

3. Then the problem of boredom arises. If by some odd chance this island is magical with nothing that will eat me or murder me in my sleep (Think Lost Here People!) after exploring this island – I won’t have much to do. Unless by another miracle it’s like Blue Lagoon and I am a young girl that has babies with some young boy, we build a tree home and live semi happily ever after. Yeah — no such luck. Boredom kills.

4. It could quite possibly be like Nim’s Island. I could write my favorite author to come save me. I could have a hot dad (that I would curse the island gods for) like Gerard Butler too. I’m beginning to think in general this is torture island and I want to off myself.

5. If I don’t off myself, get eaten alive or die of sheer boredom – hunger is another option. I’m pretty sure “Island of Death & Destruction” is NOT dotted with fast food restaurants or a local grocery store. Or even better power. I’m positive I won’t have a fishing pole and my chance of making a spear is zero to never gonna happen. Unless I find a hatch…oh do I hope for a hatch at this point.

6. The chance of me being on this island and people knowing I’m missing are also zero to they don’t care. I see how it happened. Brent’s gone working in Alaska. My three plotting children finally have had enough of my telling, they devise the plan to ship me off to “The Island of Missing Mommies” and nobody is the wiser. So not only will I starve, go insane over boredom, look at my Dad Not Dad (Gerard Butler) in a adoring way, get my legs bitten off by sharks and infected by women eating bugs — I’ll just die of old age.

So quite literally. I’m screwed, crazy, half a person — and DOOMED!

Why wouldn’t you survive? Join in the talk now! Small Talk Six at MomDot.

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